Love, Sex, and Marriage: Three Sides of the Same Coin

Written by Fred Farai Nyakudanga

In today’s society, the lines between love, sex, and marriage are often blurred. Sex has been commercialized and portrayed as a pleasurable act, while love is taught through upbringing and personal experiences. Marriage, on the other hand, has become a duty where two people often find themselves tied together due to sex and social prestige.

Love vs. Sex

Sex is a natural instinct, while love is a cultivated emotion that allows us to accommodate someone who is not ourselves. As I often say in my sessions with young adults, every creature that reproduces enjoys sex. However, it’s love that sets us apart. We can plan and work on love, tolerating and forgiving someone who is different from us. Love disciplines us on who to have sex with, and mutual desire is a design of our own making.

While sex and love are interconnected, they serve different purposes. Sex is driven by inner feelings that aim to satisfy reproduction, whereas love is a choice that requires effort and commitment. Anyone can have sex with someone they’re not in love with and still produce a child.

Marriage

Neither sex nor love alone constitutes marriage. In many African cultures, marrying a foreigner is discouraged, highlighting the importance of shared values and traditions in marriage. Marriage involves living together, sharing finances, time, and problem-solving strategies.

In a marriage, couples face problems together, and their ability to work through challenges determines the success of their relationship. Production, or the ability to build a life together, is a crucial aspect of marriage that many people overlook.

Conclusion

In conclusion, love, sex, and marriage are distinct sentiments that require different approaches. While sex is a natural instinct, love is a cultivated emotion that disciplines us on who to share our intimacy with. Marriage, on the other hand, involves a deep commitment to shared values, problem-solving, and building a life together. By recognizing these distinctions, we can foster healthier relationships and build stronger marriages.

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