Demanded Love: The Valentine’s Dilemma

Written by Fred Farai Nyakudanga

As Valentine's Day approaches, amidst the pomp and fanfare, a contradictory sentiment emerges. The celebration of love and affection, now a global phenomenon, raises a poignant question: Are we, as lovers, demanding love in order to feel loved?

The Voluntary Exchange of Emotions

Feeling loved is an assumption many people fancy. Though love by its very nature, is a voluntary exchange of emotions. It’s a choice we make to care for, support, and cherish another person. When we demand love or happiness from our partner, do we not undermine the fundamental principles of love?

Commerce vs. Natural Love

Valentine's Day has undoubtedly become a commercialized celebration. However, this doesn't diminish the genuine love we share with our partners. Instead, it presents an opportunity to spoil our loved ones and reaffirm our commitment. Let's not allow commerce to dictate or demand our love; after all, love is shared every day, and Valentine's Day is just one of many occasions to celebrate.

The Dangers of Demanding Love

Expecting love and affection is natural, and being disappointed is an inevitable part of any relationship. However, demanding love can lead to self-satisfaction and dissatisfaction in the other, creating an unhealthy dynamic. It can foster feelings of resentment, undue obligation, and even suffocation.

The True Spirit of Valentine’s Day

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, let’s not forget the true spirit of love. Instead of demanding happiness or love from our partners, let’s focus on showing appreciation, gratitude, and affection. Let’s choose to love voluntarily, without expectation or condition.

A Valentine’s Day Reflection

As we shower our loved ones with gifts and gestures, let’s take a moment to reflect on the true meaning of love. Let’s ask ourselves:

- Am I demanding love or showing love?

- Am I expecting happiness or covering up happiness?

- Am I choosing to love voluntarily, or am I trying to control or manipulate?

By reflecting on these questions, we can deepen our understanding of love and cultivate a more genuine, voluntary, and meaningful connection with our loved ones.

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